Thankful for being a woman

As we head into Thanksgiving week, I’ve been thinking about what I’m truly grateful for. The list is long, but here are a few things that rise right to the top:

1) Hormone replacement therapy. The conversation around perimenopause is finally changing, and honestly, I think we can thank Gen X women for that. For a generation branded as apathetic, we sure banded together when it came to demanding better care. After 2002, menopause management basically evaporated. Women were told to “deal with it,” and for a while, that was that. But we didn’t stay quiet. Researchers—many of whom I’m convinced were women—pushed back, dug deeper, and reframed the data. Now we understand that hormone therapy really does have a place, and that timing it right can maximize benefits and minimize risks. That shift has been life-changing.

A diverse group of animated women scientists proudly donning lab coats and holding laboratory equipment, showcasing their commitment to scientific research and innovation.

2) Reels. I still don’t have a TikTok account, but I do spend time on Instagram (you can follow me @drtrauma_mama). And I’m amazed by the number of women who articulate exactly what I’m going through. It’s incredibly validating. Middle-aged women are showing up with honesty—talking about anxiety, changing bodies, and the unglamorous parts of aging—and it’s made me feel a little less alone. And my God are they funny. Women are entertaining, witty and endlessly insightful.

3) Confidence. Let’s be real: I still have imposter syndrome, and my legs absolutely shake when I speak in public. But middle age brings a certain je ne sais quoi—a freedom, really—where you stop caring quite so much about what others think. You find your voice. You use it. You stop apologizing quite so often for taking up space. You trust your instincts a little more. And when the doubt creeps in, you occasionally silence it for more than a moment.

Animated woman confidently raises her fist, exuding empowerment and positivity against a vibrant yellow background.

4) The women who came before me. Even when it feels like I’m walking a rocky road, the truth is that someone before me cleared the path. Yes, there are bumps—and the occasional crater (looking at you, Supreme Court decision of 2022)—but the framework was laid by women who pushed, fought, and built. My job is to keep adding to what they started. And I don’t take that lightly. I try to remember that I don’t have to do it perfectly. The women before me did what they could with what they had, and I’m simply doing the same. It’s a quiet kind of continuity that continues to move forward.

5) My children. These three humans have altered my life in every way possible. Since they were born, I’ve been exhausted, mentally stretched thin, and deeply aware of my limits. But they’ve also given me purpose, softened me, and made me more empathetic. They’re my moral compass, my teachers, and my daily reminder of what matters most. And this year, when two of them left the nest, it’s been a puzzle to figure out what comes next. But I’m grateful to have the time and space to sit with that question.

A warm embrace: a mother lovingly holds her two smiling children.

So this Thanksgiving (and every other day of the year), I pause to remember just a few of the things I’ve been given. Gratitude looks different in every season of life, but this year, it feels especially grounded—and hard-earned and I appreciate having this space to share it.