Tales of a Forty Something Nothing

Did you ever read Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing (TOFGN), Judy Blume's 1972 book which followed the trials and tribulations of 9-year-old Peter Hatcher? My 7-year-old niece was reading this book the other day and listening to her talk about it brought back so many memories of my love for Judy Blume books. There was the aforementioned Peter, Ramona Quimby, Margaret Simon. And as I embark on the last year of my fourth decade, I can't help but feel a kinship with those characters and what they stood for.

The Peter in TOFGN faced many obstacles; the first and foremost was his unpredictable toddler aged brother "Fudge".  Three teenagers, an overworked husband, an aging mother can all together rival the tornado that was Fudge and wreak havoc on my nervous system. And while none of the people in my life have swallowed my pet turtle like Fudge did (see Chapter 10), that doesn't mean I haven't encountered similar apprehension and stress. And just throw in some hormonal fluctuations and I am in the middle of the cyclone of life.

Do you remember being a kid, like Peter and feeling like your parents didn’t like you, your teachers didn’t think you were smart enough, or that your friend would much rather be hanging out with someone else? Well that never went away. Maybe there are some days where I’m able to reason myself into a safe spot but most of the time I’m playing the role of an imposter.

As a fourth grader, Peter looks for security (in the form of a pet) and reassurance (validation from his family). When I read TOFGN, I knew I related to it and when I began thinking about the book again, I realize the basic themes still resonate with me. My problems may be different as an adult, but the underlying trauma and emotions still reflects a struggling nine-year-old.

And at the ripe age of 49 years and three days, I would like to explore these feelings and issues. Many of them center around being an aging woman, a soon to be empty nester, and a person who has found some time reevaluate life and its choices. This time though maybe I will explore them in a public forum, like a i a blog- put my thoughts down on paper and see if maybe they resonate with someone else. I’m sure there are many of us who saw ourselves in old Judy Blume characters and continue to do so today.